Thursday, February 26, 2009
Life. yes. life. people say that we have to decide what we want in life. but is that p0ssible? hardly. people decide y0ur life f0r y0u. y0u did n0t ch00se which family y0u wanted t0 g0 t0. y0u didn't decide wh0're g0ing t0 be y0ue parents. neither did y0u decide what primary sch00l y0u wanted. n0r did y0u want t0 be t00pid. everything is 0ut 0f 0ur c0ntr0l. i didn't want t0 be in IAD. but what? i'm here. s0, what's g0ing t0 ahead? we may be able t0 plan f0r 0ur future. but we w0uld n0t kn0w what w0uld happen t0m0rr0w that destr0y 0ur plan. this is 0ur life. but we can't c0ntr0l it. we can't decide what we want t0 be 0r what t0 d0. s0, what can we actually d0 t0 0urselves?
0ur marks are decided by teachers. 0ue success are decided by people in the society. 0ur beauty depends 0n the eyes 0f 0thers. what is decided by 0urselves when we can't decide wh0 we want t0 l0ve. it depends 0n the heart. bab00. i live f0r bab00. aimless.
m0nkEmpIre`* 11:18 PM
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Monday, February 23, 2009
what am i expecting? why d0 i feel sh0 empty all 0f a sudden? what's the meaning 0f life? everyday, it would be sch00l, w0rk and h0me. it's a daily r0utine that i have been f0ll0wing f0r 18 years. i'm sick and tired 0f it. what if i have heart attack? juz pr0v0ke me and i will thank y0u f0r ending everything f0r me. it's a crime t0 end pe0ple's life. it's als0 a crime t0 end 0ur 0wn life. why is it s0? i th0ught they say we have the freed0m t0 d0 the things we like? why carry 0ne this cycle when we d0n't even kn0w what we are d0ing all these f0r.
haiz. family. people that circled my life are juz my family members. friends? i d0n't kn0w.
people always say that we are b0rn in pairs. but we are seperated and are supp0sed t0 l00k f0r the 0ther half. i was w0ndering. what if the 0ther half died bef0re we f0und them? what if they have decided t0 pair with 0thers? and many 0f 0ur halves are actually taken away by th0se wh0 l00k better. is this fair? l0l
blame it 0n the design 0f my face. bab00.
m0nkEmpIre`* 10:56 PM
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Friday, February 20, 2009
why d0 we see people walking around with ear piece stucked in b0th ears? it's getting obvious nowadays. why is this happening?
the world is getting smaller, isn't it? try walking around. the most frequent things that y0u see are human beings. there are kind 0f t00 much interaction with people around us. s00n, we wil develop a ph0bia 0f human beings? by listening to mp3, we usually shut 0urselves up, trying t0 hide in 0ur pers0nal space. try visiting s0me village where y0u have t0 walk kil0metres t0 see an0ther human being. they w0uld be s0 enthusiastic t0 interact with 0thers. in this s0ciety, what we really need is s0me pers0nal space, isn't it?
m0nkEmpIre`* 7:45 PM
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Sunday, February 15, 2009
yesterday was valentine's day? n0 n0 n0. t0 me, it's just a family day. haha. it's a very n0rmal day where i went 0ut with my family members. my parents even t0t 0f buying a present f0r me. hah. meaningless?
i had 0nce t0t 0f escaping, t0 an0ther c0untry where there's n0 mem0ry 0f the past 17 years. it keeps haunting me. every c0rner 0f singap0re is filled with traces. people say that crying helps t0 ease the pain. but i just can't. why? am i a human? definitely. i feel the pain. just because i didn't want t0 menti0n it, y0u think that i d0n't feel the pain. yes. every0ne will g0 thr0ugh ups and d0wns. but why is it that my graph is always in a negative gradient. when will my life gets better? t0m0rr0w? the day after next? next m0nth? next year? next life?
life is like h0lding 0n t0 a r0pe 0ver a cliff, h0lding 0nt0 the r0pe determines y0ur survival. the r0ugh r0pe tears y0ur skin, causes blisters. determinati0n and will p0wer is what it takes. s0metimes, th0ugh we wanted t0 hang 0n. but its the muscles wh0 betrayed us. less0n learnt: train y0ur muscles bef0re y0u play the game called LIFE.
m0nkEmpIre`* 9:41 PM
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Wednesday, February 11, 2009
presentati0n is 0ver! celebrate 0r n0t t0 celebrate? celebrate f0r the end 0f gr0up w0rk? definitely n0t celebrating f0r the start 0f individual w0rk.
gravity. tings are held 0n t0 the earth because 0f gravity. with0ut gravity, things w0uld start flying. s0unds interesting? carefree. it's actually the same as life. we h0ld 0n t0 things. th0ugh we may n0t wanted it, but we have n0 ch0ice. we ch0se everything in 0ur life. we made the decisi0ns. it's 0ur resp0nsibility. we can't just let g0 0f everything. we d0n't have the ability t0.
m0nkEmpIre`* 10:26 PM
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Tuesday, February 10, 2009
i'm w0ndering. why d0es people wh0 excel has privileges? teachers and bosses fav0ur them. c0lleagues suck up t0 them. why can't they realise that in that c0rner 0ver there, there w0uld always be people wh0 are n0t as talented but is struggling t0 d0 their best? why neglect their eff0rt? it needs time and eff0rt. much m0re than th0se wh0 are talented.
s0mething like what happened t0 me. my best friend was a t0p sc0rer. appeared 0n the newspaper f0r getting 10 A1s. i'm there 0ne the r0ad crying, str0lling, afraid t0 get h0me c0z i g0t 17 f0r '0's. y0u shud be able t0 visualise an aer0plane and a bicycle. the bicycle tries t0 catch up with the plane. is that p0ssible? when the bicycle tries t0 l00k up t0 the plane, the angle 0f elevati0n is nearly 90 degrees. s0metimes, y0u may even experience neck pain. but the plane will 0waes say, it's 0kay, juz try, y0u can d0 it. but has it realised that it's difficult f0r a scrap metal t0 catch up with a piece 0f metal dat can withstand 0bstacles? they never realise it.
m0nkEmpIre`* 11:00 PM
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Monday, February 9, 2009
hmm. marshmall0w. (s0rry but i'm having a marshmall0w n0w. heh.) last day 0f chinese new year. happy new year! (since it's n0t 12am yet.)
i was thinking about this, what should i d0 after p0ly? iad isn't what i want. n0t architecture either.
there are f0ur biggest regrets in my life, n0t studying f0r PSLE, n0t studying en0ugh f0r '0's, play t00 much 0f maple in sec0ndary three and getting int0 a p0ly. these three regrets had already d0ne much destructi0n t0 my life. what can i d0? these are all self-destructi0n. wh0 d0 blame? my sis? f0r being naturally smart? and i'm naturally dumb? because 0f this i have suffered fr0m the fav0uritism 0f my dad. it's all my fault. mine.
why can't these 17 years be a dream? and i would wake up the next m0rining and g0 'waa waa'? even if this is a dream, i would call it a nightmare.
m0nkEmpIre`* 10:28 PM
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0ww. i saw a m0nkey at mini toons. but my parents said my r00m is already turning int0 a z00. sad. i don't mind if my r00m turns int0 a z00. sad. maybe it's the ec0n0my? bye bye m0nkey. h0pe dat y0ur 0wner (if he has 0ne) wil treat y0u fairly. sniff sniff.
many people has blamed g0d 0r buddha f0r n0t treating them fairly (th0ugh i'm 0ne 0f them, and it is a fact). but s0meh0w, they did n0t realise that this might n0t be true. s0me people may be b0rn in a rich family but their parents would be always busy with their work. they gain s0mething and l0se s0mething. but what happened t0 my life? i gained n0thing. n0 brain 0f genius. n0 wealth. n0thing. but i keep l0sing. why? why must i get drained 0ut? am i a big bad w0lf ( jac0b? werew0lf?) in my previ0us life sh0 that i have t0 repay my debt in this life? 0r is everything just unfair. l0sing is never ending.
m0nkEmpIre`* 10:06 PM
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Thursday, February 5, 2009
we human have always been looking for ways to be successful. like what someone said, one's success lies on the applause of other men. why is that so? i don't understand it. hmm. a r0cket. when it tries to set off from the surface of the earth, it needs a lot of energy. heat, potential, kinetic. at the same time, it causes pollution. it also needs to overcome many obstacles like sudden rapid change of temperature. while passing through this change of temperature, it may cause the r0cket itself to melt. however, a rocket is so str0ng that it can withstand it.
then finally, the rocket would be out of the gravitational pull. after going a few rounds around the earth, or travelling to other planets, it still, have to overcome the threatening changes from its surrounding and return to the starting point. isn't the life of a rocket similar to ours?
we have to look for ways to overcome anything that comes in our way, which would take so long. after success, we need time, too, facing obstacles, to return to what we have at first. so, why do we even suffer to get to the top, stay there fo just a while and suffer even when returing to the beginning? irony?
m0nkEmpIre`* 10:37 PM
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it's another day. sadly. rushing through model. i can confidently tell evryone that corrugated board is hard to deal with. espcially with a blunt pen knife. heh. i was wondering on how i'm supposed to do a promenade of length 30m individually.
maybe i should n0t be w0rrying ab0ut this first since my gr0up w0rk should be my priority now. hah.
i'm wondering. why does prince and princess always ends up together and live happily ever after? is it that prince only set eyes on princesses? why are prince and princess always looks good and are rich? this are there since we are born. so what's the problem that lies with us? it's not that i want to look this way and definitely not that my parents deisgned the look of me. so, why must our life be predestined since we are born?
l0l. that's h0w things are. grumble all that y0u want. n0thing will change for us. that's life.
m0nkEmpIre`* 10:24 PM
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Wednesday, February 4, 2009
CNY would soon be over, in five days time. time doesnt juz pass by. it zooms off, sometimes without us realising. also, in a few days time, the day that i hate most would be here. guess what it is? Valentine's. haiz. friendship day? none of my friend would even remember it since most of them are attached. can i make it family day? hmm.
P1. heh. its stil 0kay now. but i really cant imagine P1 with su han. wh0a. h0rrible. terrible. vegetable.
i thought i have gotten over it. but seems that you have made me fail in my plan. now i have to start everything again. please do not disturb when i said i'm serious. i really do not mind. in fact, i can have some peace. i had gotten the fact since secondary 2. sho do not take pity on me. please. you are making it worse.
m0nkEmpIre`* 10:20 PM
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