Thursday, June 18, 2009

if y0u think that i'm unreas0nable
by saying all that yesterday,
i can ap0l0gise.
anyway, i kn0w what y0u believe.
n0ne 0f us are wr0ng.
keep the impressi0n 0f her.
it's y0ur ch0ice.
y0u are never wr0ng.
y0u d0n't have t0 believe what i said.
but u must believe that sentence,
that y0u can 0nly have 0ne.
y0u w0uld never understand h0w i felt,
'cause it's n0t directed t0 y0u.
but it d0esn't matter 0n h0w y0u l00k at me.
y0u may think that i'm petty
0r never try t0 get what she means,
that's very 0kay.
f0r this very 0nce,
i d0n't want t0 think ab0ut
anything anym0re.

m0nkEmpIre`* 9:45 AM

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why d0 i feel like running away again?
bringing all the things that are really
imp0rtant t0 me.
life is t00 c0mplicated here.
i'm n0t fit t0 play this game 0f life,
0r rather,
i d0n't have the c0urage.

even with0ut techn0l0gies,
i think i w0uld be better 0ff.
bringing al0ng pe0ple wh0 w0uld trust me
and f0 what they really mean.
i d0n't need anym0re hurt,
it's already en0ugh t0 kill.
and if y0u read this,
i'm n0t refering t0 y0u.

imagine y0u are in a w0rld with0ut w0rries.
with0ut pe0ple wh0 w0uld n0t trust y0u.
just y0ur family.
th0ught there's 0nly a few pe0ple,
things w0uld be easier.
lying 0n the field,
gazing at the shinning stars,
feeling the c00l breeze.
w0uldn't it be nice?
just away fr0m the cruel w0rld.
cutting all ties.
simple life.

m0nkEmpIre`* 1:00 AM

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after telling y0u all this,
it seems that y0u had made y0ur stand.
i never say it's wr0ng,
but it's y0ur ch0ice.
fr0m the c0nversati0n,
it sh0ws h0w much she mean t0 y0u.
in y0ur p0int 0f view,
she's n0t wr0ng.
but the fact is,
she had hurt me.
think ab0ut it carefully.
she really means al0t t0 y0u.
maybe what i said may
make y0u think that i'm bad.
but it's 0kay.
i understand everything.
in any way, indeed,
i have hurt y0u.
there is n0 reas0n f0r y0u n0t t0 trust her
when y0u can relate t0 her.
everything had really changed this time.

m0nkEmpIre`* 12:40 AM

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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

0kay.
i think y0u have t0 kn0w this.
i had never said that y0u were in the wr0ng.
i had als0 never t0ld her that
we are imp0ssible because y0u were in the wr0ng.
i just said s0mething happened
and that we are imp0ssible.
i had never blamed y0u t00.
i just said i can't accept.
i never ever said y0u are in the wr0ng.
get it?

d0n't believe me?
fine.
believe whatever she said.
i'm fine.
since y0u think that i had hurt her.
it's fine t00.
d0es it matter t0 y0u?
i'm the sinner n0w.
happy?

whatever y0u think is right,
believe it.
i just c0uldn't imagine
y0u w0uld think that i'm such a pers0n.
0kay.
let me be the baddie.

m0nkEmpIre`* 10:27 PM

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s0, it seems that i have
created an0ther pr0blem?
y0u didn't kn0w that fr0m that day
i t0ld y0u it's imp0ssible,
everything is 0ver.
y0u think that i wanted t0 drag it?
what f0r?
it's will als0 be making my life c0mplicated.
s0 any reas0ns f0r me t0 drag it?

y0u didn't really understand
what happened between me and her
and y0u said these?
seems like y0u and her are living in y0ur w0rld.
everything that y0u tw0 believe.
s0 n0w i'm the 0ne wh0 had hurt her?
y0u didn't kn0w what she said t0 me.
i didn't even want t0 talk back t0 her 0r say anything bad.
s0 it's my fault again.
in the eyes 0f the tw0 0f y0u,
everything that each 0ne d0 is always right.
what 0thers d0 w0uld always be wr0ng.
c0ntinue this if y0u think is n0t en0ugh.
i really have n0 energy t0 care ab0ut it anym0re.
s0 after six m0nths,
this is what i get?
y0u believe her m0re than me.
thanks.

but please get this right.
her w0rds are really mean.
believe it 0r n0t.
th0ugh i kn0w y0u w0uld believe her.

m0nkEmpIre`* 10:07 PM

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best friends.
h0w d0 best friends behave?
u did very well in c0nfusing me.
claps.

y0u believe him m0re then me, isn't it?
y0u were defending him,
it d0esn't matter what the reas0n is.
s0 y0u think that y0u are that well
and can say that t0 me?
y0u didn't kn0w what pe0ple
were thinking 0f y0u.
y0u think that y0u are that great.

maybe y0u are right.
all guys are t00 g00d f0r me.
it's als0 fine if y0u think that
y0u have never d0ne wr0ng.
but must let y0u kn0w that
y0u are the 0nly 0ne thinking in that way.
yes, best friend?

m0nkEmpIre`* 12:48 AM

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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

i had believed everything.
but i didn't believe that
this is h0w y0u l00k at me.
and this is what friends sh0uld d0?
y0u seem t0 have a better impressi0n 0f him
than 0f me.

yes, y0u asked me t0 judge myself
bef0re i judge 0thers.
i did.
but y0u are the 0ne wh0 didn't get the facts right.
everything he did w0uld be right.
whatever i d0 w0uld be wr0ng.
sh0 y0u believe him m0re than me.
n0w, if he's right,
he w0uldn't have ap0l0gized.

s0 what d0 y0u think n0w?
every guy ish t00 g00d f0r me.
w0rds can hurt.
w0rds can change everything.
if this is what y0u think 0f me,
then be it.

m0nkEmpIre`* 12:42 AM

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Saturday, June 6, 2009

have any0ne th0ught ab0ut these tw0 sentences?

1. y0u mean t00 much t0 me

2. y0u mean everything t0 me

which 0ne w0uld y0u think
y0u mean m0st?
wh0 will cherish y0u m0re?

s0rry is what y0u said,
n0thing is what y0u did.

m0nkEmpIre`* 4:03 PM

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seems that y0u are playing a game 0f
'at tit f0r a tat'.
bef0re kn0wing the truth,
y0u had always said that i had hurt y0u.
but, is it my fault?
since i d0n't even kn0w the truth.
and n0w, we kn0w the truth,
y0u seems t0 be repaying what y0u felt.
s0, this is the unfair w0rld that i knew.

it seems t0 y0u that,
i'm the 0ne at fault
because i'm b0thered ab0ut
h0w 0thers think.
but have it 0ccurred t0 y0u that
it's actually n0t?
it's h0w i l00k at it,
it's what i saw,
it's h0w i felt.
it's the image that last in my mind.
have y0u actually th0ught ab0ut it?
images leave m0re impressi0n
rather than w0rds.

i remembered asking y0u n0t
t0 make pr0mises.
but, y0u did.
y0u said y0u w0uld never hurt me,
but, y0u did.
y0u said y0u w0uld never leave me al0ne,
but y0u did.
and y0u asked me t0 believe y0u,
and i did.

i have n0 right t0 care ab0ut y0ur
pers0nal life 0f friends.
s0, i have th0ught it thr0ugh.
since y0u w0uldn't care n0w,
d0n't b0ther ab0ut it anym0re.

m0nkEmpIre`* 3:52 PM

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嬉笑 打闹 拥抱 留下了那么多开心合照

互相取暖依靠 熬过了最低潮 一起生活

也一起埋怨过 走过最好与最糟

我在心里想的不用说明 你知道

晨昏日夜颠倒 这房子突然没从前热闹

散落一地微笑 没有人去打扫

感情很微妙 再多付出也好

再多关心都徒劳

爱情从来就没有固定的味道

它最后停在哪里谁知道

我的难过是如此低调

因为不想打扰我在寂寞的墙角

努力的对自己好 你用微笑回报

朋友或情人不重要 我的悲伤是如此低调

傻子才会哭闹 就算你发现也好

我想你一定会选择

假装不知道

只怕我自己的掩饰不够好

m0nkEmpIre`* 12:00 AM

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Friday, June 5, 2009

when things had bec0me what it is,
it's n0t 0nly 0ne pers0n t0 be blamed.
it's just because i'm n0t fit
t0 have what i have n0w.
everything seems n0t t0 bel0ng t0 me.

maybe it's wr0ng f0r me
t0 have made any ch0ices.
why are all the guys sh0 g00d?
i can't aff0rd.

everything that i have n0w,
d0n't really bel0ngs t0 me.
everything is just t00 g00d f0r me.
n0w it's the time f0r me
t0 wake up fr0m this ficti0n w0rld,
back t0 the place where i bel0ng.

m0nkEmpIre`* 11:53 PM

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what d0 i actually feel ab0ut y0u?
i kn0w that 0ther than myself,
n0b0dy w0uld have the answer.
but i'm really c0nfused.
i d0n't have the answer.

m0nkEmpIre`* 10:18 PM

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Thursday, June 4, 2009

remember that y0u were c0ncerned
ab0ut y0ur impressi0n 0n me.
thr0ugh everything, y0u have finally
changed it.

i had always th0ught that y0u were
what i think y0u were.
but the truth is, y0u are the 0pp0site.
y0u may always say that it's n0t my fault.
but i always deny it.
and n0w, i'm g0ing t0 say it,
it's n0t my fault.
everthing is clear n0w, even d0ubts.
y0u are n0t the 0nly 0ne wh0 is disapp0inted.
'cause y0u created this.

m0nkEmpIre`* 11:18 PM

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was w0ndering.
wh0 can i trust in this w0rld.
i th0ught that i c0uldn't expect
anything fr0m my parents,
but apparently n0t just parents,
every0ne.

why d0es everything s0und s0 c0nvincing?
why d0es my eyes c0ntradict?
why d0 y0u make me feel sh0 s0rry?
(but n0t n0w anym0re)

everything seems t0 have s0ught
its way 0ut.
like what i have said,
it's n0t any0ne's fault,
but mine.
everything is y0ur ch0ice.

and this is the 0nly thing i feel glad ab0ut,
every0ne seems t0 agree with me,
f0r the first time.
sh0, d0n't deny.

m0nkEmpIre`* 10:13 PM

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Wednesday, June 3, 2009

there aren't any ch0ices when
things are already d0ne.
the situati0n i'm in,
n0b0dy w0uld understand,
n0t even myself.

i'm just in a trap.
never knew that it w0uld
turn 0ut this way.
the 0ne being hurt is n0t 0nly y0u.
there are simply
t00 many things t0 learn,
t00 many regrets t0 fade.

whatever i said is true.
it 0nly depends 0n y0u t0 believe.

m0nkEmpIre`* 10:31 AM

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since i have experience in waiting,
f0r six years.
why can't i get used t0 it?
everything is bearable,
except f0r waiting.
why?

why ish everything sh0 difficult?
it's difficult t0 let g0
and difficult t0 h0ld 0n.
being single is difficult t00.
but in s0me way,
it's easier.
there's n0 0ther things t0 c0nsider.
n0 0ther things t0 w0rry.
just y0urself.
whatever y0u d0,
just answer t0 y0urself.

what sh0uld i d0?
n0, maybe, what can i d0?
is it p0ssible that everything return
t0 what it was?
imp0ssible?
right. i knew it.

m0nkEmpIre`* 1:15 AM

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